Lost in a Corn Maze, Call 911 for Rescue
The look of fear and desperation on their tearful faces says it all as they are led away to safety by the fearless men and women of America’s elite Maze Rescue Teams.
It seems like a great idea at the time, “Let’s have a family day out at corn maze!” But for so many families the exciting day it turns into one of frustration, followed by worry, followed by panic and finally rescue by the emergency services.
With ever more choices when it comes to how they spend their leisure time, entertainment providers are continually trying to come up with new ways to tempt you into their venues. In the world of mazes, whether it’s hedge or corn, bigger is better. If you’re planning on taking a trip to a maze you want your money’s worth. You want the biggest and best you can get and maze operators are only to happy to provide.
But this sometimes comes at a cost beyond mere money. Sometimes the happy family fun day can turn into a nightmare. Corn mazes in America are now becoming so huge that more and more people are getting lost in them and having to a call the emergency services to be rescued. Headlines such as “Family’s Corn Maze ‘Fun’ Ends In 911 Rescue” and “Lost for Days in World’s Largest Corn Maze” and an almost weekly occurrence.
These are typical of the sort of calls the emergency services are having to deal with:
“I don’t see anybody. I am really scared. It’s really dark and we’ve got a 3-week-old baby with us.“
“It was daytime when we came in“
“It’s everywhere, nothing but corn, please help us!“
“I can hear bears, they’re getting closer“
“We thought this would be fun. Instead it’s a nightmare“
When these desperate calls are received Senior Dispatcher, Mavis Entwhistle, puts out the alert and the Maze Rescue Teams leap into action. According to Mavis it’s a race against time:
“Some of these poor people haven’t seen a Big Mac with extra fries or a KFC Family Mega Bucket Meal for nearly 48 hours, that’s how desperate it can get!“
But by using the latest search and rescue technology and specially trained sniffer dogs, they believe they can tack any lost family down within a couple of days at the latest.
You can maximise your chances of survival by taking a few simple precautions and planning ahead. Here are our handy tips for those of you who are brave enough to venture out into a corn maze:
- Take a fully charged mobile phone with you.
- Pack a compass, torch and spare batteries.
- Take enough food and water to last for three days.
- Pack waterproofs and plenty of spare warm clothing.
- Learn to weave corn leaves into an emergency shelter.
- You can find north by following migrating alpacas.
- If attacked by corn wasps pretend to be a hat stand.
- Take matches or a boy scout for firelighting.
- Please do not eat your relatives.
Remember, have fun and enjoy yourselves, but be sensible and play safe. Don’t end up like the poor souls in this news clip: